Yesterday I was out with Peaches. We were supposed to be on a manhunt. Unfortunately the only ones we saw were un-huntable for one reason or another. Too old. Too young. Too wrong. Too smelly, as Peaches had the sad misfortune of being able to report about one that sat next to her for a bit. It was all quite something. And by "something", in this case I mean disappointing.
We were in an area of town that is somewhat unfamiliar to us, but was an equal distance from each of our places. We didn't have a bad time, we just didn't have the good flirtin' time we expected. Towards the end of the evening we were sitting at the bar, gabbin' away. I was seated between Peaches and some guy and his friend. Next thing I know some girl has wedged herself in the already limited space between this guy and me. ...And she's bumpin' into me with each of her tipsy bobs and weaves.
Now, if you don't know me, this sounds minorly irritating. However, if you know me you know the very last thing I want is to be touched by a stranger. An angel, sure, maybe. But some random ass stranger? Hellz to da no. This is always gonna cause a problem. I'm very particular about personal space. I'm not one of those freaks who doesn't like to be touched at all. Friends, family, people who I like and know are all fine. Strangers? No.
I was once in the grocery line and this stranger lady was encroaching on, nay was trying to inhabit my BBG bubble. I don't mean a little too close, I mean right the fuck up on me. Every time I moved up she moved up. And then I could take it no more and turned and said, "your idea of personal space is outta whack and I need you to take one big step backwards." (FYI the look on the cashiers face was priceless. Eyes as big as saucers.) So this has always been an issue for me.
The gal last night is talking to this guy next to me and bumpin' into me every 2.3 seconds, so I say to her, "lemme move over" (yes, combined with the look) as I move my chair towards Peaches. Now, I'm already gettin' ticked off and that was my hint to her to watch her drunkass self. She said something about not knowing she was bumpin' me. How? Fuck if I know. Perhaps booze paralyzes the nerves allowing you to know your touching someone? Not being a neurologist or an alcoholic I can't say with any certitude.
Peaches went to play some music for the maaaaaybe 1/4 full joint (aka: it's not a packed/you can't help yourself type environment), and while she was gone this broad keeps bumping into me. Now I'm strongly considering decking her, but am also trying to be a good person, so I turned to her and sez, "I don't have anywhere else to move" as I again am forced to give her the look, after she has bashed into me afuckingain. Now she's alllllll kindz a testy. "I'm just talking to this guy, I'm trying not to be all over him he's not my husband", (I'm still not sure what that really was supposed to mean?) "it's not like I'm trying to bump into you", "geez, what do you want me to do?"...
(BTW nice attempt to make it seem like I'm being unreasonable or somehow the "problem" in this situation you and only you are creating. No dice. Parking lot???)
...Howz about stop jostling me?!? How about you fuckin' wedge yourself between this guy and your hubby, instead of me? How about you stand behind him to carry on, what I'm sure is some riveting conversation and he can turn to his side in his chair? How about you stand the fuck still? There are a lot of options available to you. Also on the table? You gettin' your ass beat by some BBG.
After that lil' exchange she took leave of my space and managed to stay away until we took leave of that joint.
I've said it before.
I'm sayin' it now.
(I'm pretty fuckin' sure I'll have to say it again.)
Boundaries people, BOUNDARIES!!
So just for the record, hold your arms out. Fully stretched. That's personal space. YOU own that, unless you invite someone into it. Got it? Good. No ass beatin' for you. Resume your day.
Oh, before you go-- Happy Fathers Day to all Dads, especially mine!!
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We were in an area of town that is somewhat unfamiliar to us, but was an equal distance from each of our places. We didn't have a bad time, we just didn't have the good flirtin' time we expected. Towards the end of the evening we were sitting at the bar, gabbin' away. I was seated between Peaches and some guy and his friend. Next thing I know some girl has wedged herself in the already limited space between this guy and me. ...And she's bumpin' into me with each of her tipsy bobs and weaves.
Now, if you don't know me, this sounds minorly irritating. However, if you know me you know the very last thing I want is to be touched by a stranger. An angel, sure, maybe. But some random ass stranger? Hellz to da no. This is always gonna cause a problem. I'm very particular about personal space. I'm not one of those freaks who doesn't like to be touched at all. Friends, family, people who I like and know are all fine. Strangers? No.
I was once in the grocery line and this stranger lady was encroaching on, nay was trying to inhabit my BBG bubble. I don't mean a little too close, I mean right the fuck up on me. Every time I moved up she moved up. And then I could take it no more and turned and said, "your idea of personal space is outta whack and I need you to take one big step backwards." (FYI the look on the cashiers face was priceless. Eyes as big as saucers.) So this has always been an issue for me.
The gal last night is talking to this guy next to me and bumpin' into me every 2.3 seconds, so I say to her, "lemme move over" (yes, combined with the look) as I move my chair towards Peaches. Now, I'm already gettin' ticked off and that was my hint to her to watch her drunkass self. She said something about not knowing she was bumpin' me. How? Fuck if I know. Perhaps booze paralyzes the nerves allowing you to know your touching someone? Not being a neurologist or an alcoholic I can't say with any certitude.
Peaches went to play some music for the maaaaaybe 1/4 full joint (aka: it's not a packed/you can't help yourself type environment), and while she was gone this broad keeps bumping into me. Now I'm strongly considering decking her, but am also trying to be a good person, so I turned to her and sez, "I don't have anywhere else to move" as I again am forced to give her the look, after she has bashed into me afuckingain. Now she's alllllll kindz a testy. "I'm just talking to this guy, I'm trying not to be all over him he's not my husband", (I'm still not sure what that really was supposed to mean?) "it's not like I'm trying to bump into you", "geez, what do you want me to do?"...
(BTW nice attempt to make it seem like I'm being unreasonable or somehow the "problem" in this situation you and only you are creating. No dice. Parking lot???)
...Howz about stop jostling me?!? How about you fuckin' wedge yourself between this guy and your hubby, instead of me? How about you stand behind him to carry on, what I'm sure is some riveting conversation and he can turn to his side in his chair? How about you stand the fuck still? There are a lot of options available to you. Also on the table? You gettin' your ass beat by some BBG.
After that lil' exchange she took leave of my space and managed to stay away until we took leave of that joint.
I've said it before.
I'm sayin' it now.
(I'm pretty fuckin' sure I'll have to say it again.)
Boundaries people, BOUNDARIES!!
So just for the record, hold your arms out. Fully stretched. That's personal space. YOU own that, unless you invite someone into it. Got it? Good. No ass beatin' for you. Resume your day.
Oh, before you go-- Happy Fathers Day to all Dads, especially mine!!
(BBG and Dad)
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