Being an only child, or as I've always liked to position it, the favorite child, I'm maybe a tad more intrigued by siblings than people who actually have brothers and/or sisters. Maybe that's how long ago I started noticing a trend in brothers, although I'm sure it happens with sisters, for some reason it seems much more pronounced in guys.
Like I say, it's something I've noticed and paid attention to for years and I finally feel ready to share my theory with 'da World. Now, you may read this and think me a kook, but really, if this isn't your first time in the BBGW, or if you know my ass, you probably already think I'm a kook, so... whaaaaaaaaat?!? Yep. SUCK IT!
As you may know, I'm prone to thinking I have abilities that, um, a more reality based person might consider infuckingpossible highly improbable. (Remember when I thought I could make a table? Or that cubby hole thingy? Having had zero experience building anything.) Whereas, I tend to think, 'sure, there's some way to skin that cat...just gotta figure it out'.
It's funny. For as regimented, conventional and pragmatic as I can be about some things, I don't, or try not to limit my possibilities about most things. Other things are a fuckin' free for all in my head. My mind tends to think I haven't done something, more than that I can't do something. (And for the record, that fuckin' table is still standing and doing it's table job and that cubby hole was ingenious.)
With that said, I, just like Einstein, Freud and Curie before me, I have a theory.
A theory based on absofuckinglootly zero statistics, medical or biological education or research.
However, a theory that I strongly assert is dead on accurate based on it's merits.
Alright.
I know you think I'm talking outta my ass. While that is always a possibility with me, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm wrong. Know who people thought talked outta their damn asses? A man named Albert. Another man named Sigmund. And a madame named Marie.
Pop Quiz:
Like I say, it's something I've noticed and paid attention to for years and I finally feel ready to share my theory with 'da World. Now, you may read this and think me a kook, but really, if this isn't your first time in the BBGW, or if you know my ass, you probably already think I'm a kook, so... whaaaaaaaaat?!? Yep. SUCK IT!
As you may know, I'm prone to thinking I have abilities that, um, a more reality based person might consider i
It's funny. For as regimented, conventional and pragmatic as I can be about some things, I don't, or try not to limit my possibilities about most things. Other things are a fuckin' free for all in my head. My mind tends to think I haven't done something, more than that I can't do something. (And for the record, that fuckin' table is still standing and doing it's table job and that cubby hole was ingenious.)
With that said, I, just like Einstein, Freud and Curie before me, I have a theory.
A theory based on absofuckinglootly zero statistics, medical or biological education or research.
However, a theory that I strongly assert is dead on accurate based on it's merits.
I am of the opinion that something happens during a second, or subsequent male child pregnancy. Some kind of hormonal or wacky cell splittin', gene hinky-ness in utero that causes latter male children to run an increased risk of googiliness. Specifically, googiliness in the looks department.
My contention that there is a correlation between subsequent male pregnancies and as I have named it, Googily Brother Syndrome (GBS) is based on my vast medical background specializing in nuthin'. Yet I am 99.44% sure that the first born boy of any union between the same parents yielding more than one son is more likely than not to have at least one younger brother who is affected with GBS.
Alright.
I know you think I'm talking outta my ass. While that is always a possibility with me, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm wrong. Know who people thought talked outta their damn asses? A man named Albert. Another man named Sigmund. And a madame named Marie.
One persons 'crazy ass' is another persons 'forward thinking' or dare I say, genius! Before you commit to making a reservation for a rubber room for me, kindly examine the following facts:
(Older and now deceased brother)
(Younger, alive and googilier brother)
It's not even a full on handsome issue, regardless of how attractive you feel Alec is, there's no denying that some of his younger brothers clearly have GBS.
(Eldest Wayans brother, far left, with accompanying and various degrees of GBS siblings.)
Pop Quiz:
Q: Using the GBS theory which Bee Gee is the oldest brother?
If you guessed the center Bee Gee (aka: Barry. Thank you Google) as the eldest by GBS visual elimination you are correct.
(Older then)
(Younger then)
(Younger and older, nowish)
Presidential GBS
Like I said, it's not even a cute thing. Both widely considered cute.
But one is googiler (and younger: Owen).
See...you're getting so good you don't even need me to point out the GBS sibling anymore.
Technically, I don't know which of these cats is older...but I have a pretty good guess.
(Paul and twin Vin Deisel)
I'd encourage you to think about brothers you know in your personal life, I guarantee there's a googily one. Feel free to report in with your findings.
Now that I've released my GBS theory for the greater good of the world, perhaps some egghead will look into this and validate it with something more than antidotal proof. I will be very excited when I am presented with some sort of discovery Pulitzer!! Until then, my advise is that if you have one cute boy child, it may be time to reassess your desire for further procreation. It is, as you see a total crap shoot, with sometimes very googily results. You have been warned. Fornicate at your own risk.
No comments:
Post a Comment