~Trying Not To Step On Worms

If you see me after the rain walkin' and lookin' sad.  I'm not.  I'm trying not to step on worms.  Worms, which by the way look an awful lot like fallen pine tree needles. 

(Squishy worm - right, innocuous pine tree needle - left)

I don't have any real issues with worms.  They have their jobs.  They, for the most part, leave me alone, I mean, I've never been attacked by a worm or anything.  I'm not even scared of 'em.  I've picked them up.  I can even put them on a hook if I'm fishing, although, I must admit, I do try to tie them to the hook more so than actually pierce their lil' worm bodies, not that I've fished in forrrrrrever.  I'm just sayin', I'm not heeb'd and jeeb'd out by them. 

I'm so ok with them that my plan is even to have one of these new fangled cardboard coffins so the worms and bugs can get to doin' their jobs tout suite.  I really don't have any problems with the the line-y, inching along set.

Except for the concept of stepping on them.  That totally freaks me the fuck out.  The thought of splitting a worm in two under my sole is just too much for me.  And then having to somehow clean my shoe before I walk back in my place spreadin' wormy guts and goo as I go?  Hellz to 'da no.  I'm not havin' any part of it.  And if I have to be looked at as the sad girl walkin, so fuckin' be it.  

(Big ass worm encountered during short ass walk.)

Now, I wear a 10 to a 11.   ...I know, I know, I have big ass feet.  Guess what?  They hold me up, so suck it.  Plus, it's not called the Lil' Petite Girl World, is it?  Anyhoo, as you can see that's one big ass worm.  Imagine looking up (not looking sad), walking and not noticing this guy as you squish it in the middle.  Grrrrrrrrrrr.  Oss.  Just thinking about it makes me think of the story of the lambs in Silence Of The Lambs.  I can hear the whines of worms!!   Alright.  That might have been a wee over the top, but it was kinda fun, wasn't it? 

Happy Weekending!  Avoid the worms.